“Nightmare” for Halloween!

Just in time for Halloween! The late night live action/horror movie thriller Nightmare was KTVT Channel 11’s (Dallas-Ft. Worth, TX) contribution towards frightening kids and adults alike. Bill Camfield, of Slam Bang Theatre fame, starred as Gorgon, the master of an evil black & white celluloid domain. As the show began, the camera would zoom down a forbidding corridor while Gorgon would introduce the premise of the film with a related live action sub-plot. Whether it was pretty girls being threatened by a swinging pendulum, killing vampires, or just general mayhem, Gorgon set the mood!

They Were Heroes Once, and Young

It’s hard to believe its now been 40 years since the Apollo 11 mission delivered human beings to another world. As a kid growing up in the suburban Patio Culture, the exploits of Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins were considered to be the stuff of legend. Looking back, it continues to be so.

The historical impact of the lunar missions of the late 1960’s and early 1970’s seem to be sinking in at last reminding the nation that its past glories can once again be harnessed for the common good.

As a teacher, I’m perplexed by the seemingly casual attitude teenagers take towards this momentous event in history. Oh sure, when you’re 17 the minutiae of everyday life overtakes your very consciousness, but I keep getting the nagging feeling that over the years we’ve lost something as a nation. OK, let’s just say it…young people today just don’t have the heroes that we had growing up in the sixties.  There, it’s out and in true curmudgeon form. What happened? Did the collective funk the nation suffered after Vietnam kill true larger than life personalities, or was it the result of a mercilessly competitive electronic media scouring the landscape for public figures to splay open for all to ridicule.  Who knows, but you just don’t see public figures with the stature that the early astronauts enjoyed. Sure, there are many people out there today who do great things, and are deserving of our utmost respect, but the backdrop of true national urgency is sadly missing.

Perhaps non-Boomers might understand the misty gazes the Apollo tribute videos invoke in their older brethren if they accepted the fact that many of us are hard-wired to admire the space program. We grew up on it, and gauged our collective national worth by its successes and failures. To demonstrate the case in point, let us examine the life of a typical suburban kid of the 1960’s…

Chances are you played “space” if you were a boy. Not cowboys and Indians of the 1950’s, but rip roaring astronaut play complete with Star Trek tracer guns (disc launchers) and helmets if you were lucky. Often kids rooms and tree houses would be outfitted with various “controls” that would guide their imaginary craft to the stars. Of course in reality, I’m sure the stacks of old radios and retired portable TV sets used for this purpose perplexed the adults to no end. I once even customized an old barrel by suspending it on a swing set frame, mounting a clock and a compass, and using it as a “Mercury training capsule”. The object, of course, was to get inside, wind up the strap, and let the thing spin until you could walk like a drunk or puke (or both).

Toys were very attuned to the space program as well. One of the coolest toys I every owned was the GI Joe Mercury space capsule with a sliding clear plastic hatch. Emulating the dramatic “splash downs” we witnessed on television, we would repeatedly throw our intrepid Joe into the swimming pool until our arms tired from the effort. Model kits, like my Gemini capsule/Agena docking module and NASA rocket booster collection, were built (and sometimes destroyed) by countless kids.

Topping off this endless cosmic enculturation were TV shows like Star Trek, Lost in Space, Space 1999, cartoons such as Space Ghost and the Jetsons, plus numerous B-movies. The first movie that I was totally enthralled by was Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey which I still maintain was so far ahead of its time that it’s scary! Obviously, Clarke’s vision of lunar exploration has yet to materialize, but it was fodder for the young imaginations of the Patio Culture.

Today’s challenges are admittedly hard to put a heroic face on. Global warming is by its very nature nebulous, and politicians by their very nature rarely inspire beyond their partisan base. Even the groundbreaking nature of the current U.S. administration can’t compare with the civil rights luminaries of the 1960’s. Still,  I hope the future challenges of taking homo sapiens beyond his ancestrial planetary home will not go unmet. Despite my misgivings on the state of heroics today, I still hope the newest generation can find persons of  stature and good character that transcend the divisive issues of today and unite the world (albeit briefly) like the Apollo astronauts once did.

Just in time for grilling season!

Back by popular demand and just in time for Memorial Day cookouts…Oscar and Angus!

Be a Jackson Pollock

The abstract expressionist painter Jackson Pollock (1912-1956), left an indelible mark on the mid-century art world, and many would assert his work was the antithesis of the Patio Culture. But before you go off with a condescending critical grin, just consider those poor suburban dads who toiled away for hours, painting their 2 bedroom ranch style homes. While the house would inevitable sport a fresh coat of lime green or beige, it was the drop cloth that often displayed the compiled remnants of home improvement painting projects of all kinds. For dads, their “drip period” was from sun up on Saturday morning until Miller Time.

Now you too can be a Jackson Pollock. This nifty little Flash app at www.jacksonpollock.org will turn your mouse into paint can and hours of modernist fun are yours to have! Don’t forget to clean up when you’re done.

In Remembrance of Bettie Page 1923-2008

Los Angeles, December 11, 2008  –  Bettie Page,  sweet-smiling legendary 1950s pin-up queen with the killer curves and coal-black bangs, died today of pneumonia at a Los Angeles area hospital. She was 85 years old. She suffered a heart attack one week ago and never regained consciousness. Her popularity as an underground, guilty pleasures phenomenon has continued to soar despite the fact that the reclusive Page disappeared almost a half century ago.

“With deep personal sadness I must announce that my dear friend and client Bettie Page passed away at 6:41pm PST this evening in a Los Angles hospital. She died peacefully but had never regained consciousness after suffering a heart attack nine days ago. She captured the imagination of a generation of men and women with her free spirit and unabashed sensuality. She is the embodiment of beauty.”

Statement by Mark Roesler, business agent for Bettie Page

A Blast from the Past: NORAD Tracks Santa

For 50 years NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) has been protecting North American airspace from enemy attack, and for most of those years they have been tracking the Christmas Eve movements of none other than Santa Claus. Growing up in the 1960’s meant the Cold War was pretty much a hypothetical concept since “duck and cover” drills and bomb shelters were products of the 1950’s. Even a thing as scary as the Cold War didn’t put a dent into the typical Patio kid’s Christmas expectations (a true Christmas spirt will evolve later). We all had a faint idea that the F-102 interceptors at the local air base were there to keep the bay guys away, but other than that, we fully expected Santa Claus to made his journey through the world’s airspaces unimpeded. After all, fighter escorts from the North American Air Defense Command guaranteed his passage to the United States! I remember checking up on Santa’s Christmas Eve progress by watching the NORAD Tracks Santa black and white film clips on TV. Usually a very serious airman with black rimmed glasses would be shown carefully monitoring a radar screen while reporting Santa’s position to his commander who would then scramble jets to escort him into North America. Hopefully, the Soviets wouldn’t shoot down our hero in red…after all, I had a new banana seat bike riding on his safe arrival!

Black and white film clips have since given way to the computer animated, internet driven wonder we see today, and the excitement is even greater. Now you can track the Big Man yourself on Christmas Eve at http://www.noradsanta.org

Eerie Numbers Stations for Halloween

“Numbers Stations”, byproducts of the Cold War, were cryptic coded numerical messages that would appear on various short wave frequencies then abruptly end. It is believed that these mysterious messages were intended for field agents of various world intelligence services during the Cold War era. Although super power tensions have eased somewhat in the 21st century, numbers stations still operate out of Latin America and Cuba. Whatever their purpose, numbers stations make for an eerie, yet realistic, opportunity for Halloween fun! Listen…

Green Slime!

B-movie action at its best! I actually saw this movie in the theater thinking to my nine year old self “Cool special effects! Don’t touch those monsters! Wow, that lady’s space dress is tight!”. Actually, I can’t really remember seeing any slime; the title must refer to some type of alien racial slur. After all of these years it’s the theme song that sticks in my mind….Green Sliiimmme….

Kebabs: Paleo-Modernity on a Stick

Sometime around a million years ago, Homo Erectus figured out that his discovery of fire could be used to cook meat. Besides the increased survivability cooking offered in terms of disease reduction, the softer food could be chewed by even the weakest members of the tribe. It was simple. Just skewer the day’s kill onto a stick, roast, and eat. We can only speculate that early man also had the faculty to appreciate the flavor that only fire can impart. Fast forward about a million years into the future (minus about 50 or so) and we arrive at a time when this iconic technique is identified with a society that reached the pinnacle of outdoor cooking…the Patio Culture. Mid-Century grill men took what was primarily a Mediterranean cooking technique and brought it into the American mainstream. As stated before, the simplicity was undeniable. This, however, gave the chef little opportunity to express his individuality. To get around this, outdoor chefs discovered they could create marinades to alter the flavor of the meat and add various vegetables to make an otherwise mundane dish spectacular in both taste and presentation. The following is intended to be a generalized overview to guide you through the sheer diversity of kebab variations.

Use the right tools for the job!

To begin your foray into the world of kebab grilling you’ll first need decent skewers. As traditional Middle Eastern grill men know, the flat sword type skewers are preferable as they keep the meat and vegetables from spinning around on the skewer. They should be long enough so that the handles can remain a somewhat safe distance from the heat source. Bamboo skewers are good for smaller individual servings, but be sure to soak them for 30 minutes prior to putting them on the grill. As always, a bed of glowing coals (charcoal or otherwise) rather than a blazing fire is the cooking environment you’ll need.

Marinade it!

Unless you have access to some prime beef such as Kobe, you’ll probably need to marinate the meat. This is especially true if you’re using typical cuts of stew meat, a popular choice for American style kebabs. The simple chemistry of a decent marinade is one part acid (lemon, lime, vinegar, etc.) to about two parts oil…similar to a vinaigrette. To the marinade base you can add just about anything. Common ingredients include, but are not limited to, chopped onions, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, even honey (use care with sweet ingredients as they can easily burn on the grill). Time is the next factor. Marinade the meat for at least 4 hours with overnight being even better.

Cindy’s Kebab Marinade

• 1/2 cup canola oil
• juice from 20 oz. can of chunk pineapple (use pineapple for skewers)
• juice from one lime
• 1/2 cup prepared teriyaki marinade
• 3 Tbs. Worcestershire sauce
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp. brown sugar
• 1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper

Mix all ingredients together and marinate meat overnight.

Add the works!

When the meat has had time to properly marinate, pat dry and begin threading onto a skewer. Here’s where I differ from traditional kebab techniques. I prefer to have skewers with only meat, and separate skewers devoted to the vegetables. The simple truth of this is because it takes longer for the meat to cook than the vegetables. If you want to go with the more traditional approach, alternate meat and vegetables, but watch them closely to make sure they don’t get overcooked! The old standby veggies such as bell pepper, onion, mushroom, and cherry tomatoes are great, but don’t feel limited to those choices. Any vegetable that is somewhat firm can be used, as well as, fruits (pineapple being my favorite).

Smoked Mushrooms (for when they don’t all fit on the skewers!)

• 1 lb. whole mushrooms, cleaned and with trimmed stems
• 3 Tbs. fresh cilantro leaves, no stems
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 3 Tbs. butter
• sea salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

In a metal pan (one you use for your smoker), melt the butter and mix with the wine. Add the mushrooms to coat well and top with salt, pepper, and cilantro. Simmer on the back of the smoker for about 45 minutes or until mushrooms are soft. Great side dish for any barbeque.

Use a thematic approach!

These combinations of marinades, meats, fruits, and vegetables work best when they follow at least some semblance of a flavor theme. For instance, traditional (as stated above), Asian (soy sauce based marinade and fruits served with rice), Mediterranean (using lemon and olive oil marinades served with couscous), and Mexican (roasted meat for tacos al pastor, and grilled green onions on the side).

Roast and serve!

With your coals ready, load the skewers onto the grill and cook for about 10-15 minutes being sure to turn often. A little vegetable char on the mixed kebabs is OK but a light coating of cooking spray helps with this. Serve the entire mixed skewer for show, or de-skewer the meat and vegetables, combine, and serve over your choice of carbohydrate. Again, it’s up to you but rice pilaf or couscous are the most common.

Foiled Again! Cooking in a Pouch

With the high price of gasoline taking an ever bigger bite out of our summer entertainment budgets, one does not have to travel far from home to enjoy a classic retro outdoor grilling excursion.Bringing back an outdoor cooking technique from the mid-century Patio Culture, foil cookery is an easy and cheap way to appease the Gods of Grilling Past and have fun closer to home. The premise is ridiculously simple. Pack complete and portable meals inside foil cooking pouches, load them into a cooler, take them anywhere you can build a fire, eat them, and clean up with minimal fuss.

While the wonders of backyard cooking were well known to mid-century dads, I’m sure it was mid-century moms who first attempted to contain the resulting mess of charred meat remnants and grease with foil. Apparently successful, foil cookery soon became a common sight on patios all across America. Harkening back to my own Scouting days in the late 1960’s, this type of cookery was considered an intermediate step between regular camp cooking using pots and pans, and primitive cookery using sticks and coals. Leave it to the miracles of science and technology (and moms) to bridge the gap!

Be prepared!
To create a portable meal in a pouch you first need aluminum foil (duh). The next step, however, will vary depending upon what heat source you are planning to use.

1. Double wrap your meal in foil if you are going to be cooking directly on coals. This way you’ll get extra thermal protection from the higher heat. Remember, If you’re going to use an outdoor wood fire, be sure to let it burn down sufficiently to create a nice even bed of burning embers.

2. If you plan to put them on the grill several inches over the coals, you only need to wrap it once.

Traditional Foil Meal
For each traditional foil meal or “Scout Supper”, you’ll need the following ingredients:

• 1 thick hamburger patty seasoned to your taste (see note)
• 1 potato, peeled and sliced
• 1 onion, sliced
• 2-3 carrots, peeled and sliced
• Salt and pepper to taste

Prepare the foil pouch per the instructions above. Spray the interior of the pouch (shiny side) with cooking spray. Layer the potatoes, carrots, seasoned meat patty, and onions in the center of the pouch. Season with salt and pepper then fold into a tightly sealed pouch (see illustration). Cook for about 15-20 minutes if you’re cooking directly over coals, or 30-45 minutes if you’re using the grate over your grill. Use your senses to help you determine when its done! When it’s ready, carefully take it off the fire, let cool for a minute, then cut open to form a foil “plate”.  Be careful of the steam when you open these, and I suggest you put the foil on a real plate lest you have molten food introducing itself to your crotch!

The hybrid meal shown above is an example of the diversity of this type of cookery. Note the squash and bell pepper along with the traditional beef patty, onion, and potatoes.

Note: Steamed meat inherently lacks the flavor that only direct fire can impart, therefore it’s my opinion that you need to add something to help out the meat. Almost anything will do, but I suggest steak sauce, or dried soup mixes worked thoroughly into the meat.

Non-Traditional Foil Meal
The preparation for this recipe is the same as above, except the sky is the limit! Almost any combination of meats and vegetables can be used to create a foil meal. Squash, bell pepper, sweet potato, ham, pineapple, you name it…It’s up to you! I’ll use the following as an example of a non-traditional foil meal.

Chicken with Lemon and Rosemary in Foil

• 1 boneless skinless chicken breast
• 4-5 springs fresh rosemary (or 3-4 Tbs. of store bought)
• about 1 cup of whole mushrooms
• 1/2 bell pepper cut into rings
• 3 thick slices of lemon

Prepare the foil pouch per the instructions above. Spray the interior of the pouch (shiny side) with cooking spray. Layer the fresh rosemary, chicken breast, mushrooms, bell pepper, and lemon in the pouch. Season with salt and pepper and fold to make a tightly sealed pouch. Cook for about 15-20 minutes if you’re cooking directly over coals, or 30-45 minutes if you’re using the grate over your grill. Remove and serve. Note that fresh rosemary tends to pack more of a wallop than its dried store bought cousins, so use accordingly.

Don’t forget dessert!
For an extra treat give your foil a quick dose of cooking spray and wrap up firm, fresh apples and bake over the coals for about 30 minutes. Bananas are good too and only take about 10 minutes. Once you’re an experienced foil chef you can try the ultimate tiki dessert…a whole pineapple!

Before Leaving

If your foil cooking adventure took you into the great outdoors, be sure to thoroughly douse your fire (I mean cold to the touch), and pack out your trash. Remember your aluminum foil (and “beverage” cans) are recyclable! You might could even recoup some of your gas expenses depending on your drinking habits!