“Nightmare” for Halloween!

Just in time for Halloween! The late night live action/horror movie thriller Nightmare was KTVT Channel 11’s (Dallas-Ft. Worth, TX) contribution towards frightening kids and adults alike. Bill Camfield, of Slam Bang Theatre fame, starred as Gorgon, the master of an evil black & white celluloid domain. As the show began, the camera would zoom down a forbidding corridor while Gorgon would introduce the premise of the film with a related live action sub-plot. Whether it was pretty girls being threatened by a swinging pendulum, killing vampires, or just general mayhem, Gorgon set the mood!

Is it, or isn’t it?

Strange memories abounded when I came across this now infamous Sears ad from 1975.

Suburban housewives all across the country beamed with various degrees of muted laughter as they called and told their friends to “Look at the new Sears catalog on page 602.” Sure enough, there it was…just to the left of item #6. Those women who took time from their domestic chores to peek at the mystery were rewarded with a familiar sight indeed! Familiar? Well, these women lived through the end of the Baby Boom you know.

Air Force photo analysis sections were much too busy dealing with Cold War reconnaissance imagery to settle the dispute once and for all, so the mystery continued.

The question that remains is did clever corporate advertising wonks deliberately place “it” in the photo to seduce women (who were the purchasers of the family’s clothing) into becoming loyal Sears customers? We’ll never really know, but I suspect that many a Patio kid chafed against crisp new Sears underwear elastic for years to come.

In Pursuit of the Goat Man–A Suburban Tale

What ever happened to the Goat Man? Recently, I was telling some kids about my childhood adventures in the woods behind our subdivision. During the late 60’s and early 70’s there were mysterious rumors of cattle mutilations in our area. Our local kid folklore dictated that these deeds must have been the work of the Goat Man, a half-man, half-goat creature that supposedly roamed the woods looking for fresh beef on the hoof (or maybe even a kid). Needless to say, if we found ourselves in the woods as darkness began to fall, we made a beeline for the security of the city street lights.

Once, we got brave and decided to make a torchlight expedition into the woods to catch a glimpse of the Goat Man…at night! My scouting experience equipped me with the knowledge of how to make the torches, so we decided to give it a go. As the sun went down, we began soaking our torches in kerosene. Soon after, we lit them and proceeded into the dark woods.

We were familiar with the first band of trees that followed along a creek, so we weren’t too scared at first. This opened onto a big plowed field, which soon turned into another band of trees. We had never been that far before and these woods were quite unfamiliar. On top of that they were mostly ugly, snarling, scary bois d’ arc (horse apple) trees…the kind that an impressionable mind would form into macabre shapes if given half a chance. You know the kind of place…real Sleepy Hollow stuff. It was about that time that the first torch flickered and went dark. We began debating if we should be heading home when the second torch flickered out leaving us with only one torch lit. That settled it! As we made our way back towards the open field the last torch began its slow death flicker and then unceremoniously went out. When I noticed the rest of the group passing me at a full run, I thought it would be a good time to also beat a hasty retreat. After all, the Goat Man was on the loose and I’m sure he was hungry! As we all started to get winded, my friend Dan and I slowed down to catch our breath. It was at that point that we noticed a strange form moving towards us. The silhouetted shape was quite unfamiliar and clumsily continued its relentless advance. We were frozen with terror as the dark shape came right up to us…it was at that time we heard a reassuring…moooo! We were instantly calmed when we realized that our would-be assailant wasn’t half-man or half-goat…but all cow! Still, the woods were dark, and the real Goat Man might spy us standing next to this bovine delicacy, so we continued our advance towards the city.

As we crossed the first city street, we all decided to go straight home and leave daring midnight explorations to the professionals. The Goat Man was in no danger of being exposed any time soon, at least by this band of weary suburban commandos!